I would just like to tell you all that Dalamus and E’hla’s child has been born. I’m choosing to do it like this; introducing the child without a birth thread, because I do not want to write child labor.
The child is a baby girl, and they have given her the name Llaara. She has black hair like both of her parents and red eyes like her father.
Due to some complications with E’hla pregnancy, she was born too early and is therefor quite the wee baby. As of right now she’s a couple of weeks old and since she’s a baby no one can RP with her yet (that comes later xD)
No apologies..? But, is that not what one did when they wronged another? Was that not how one earned forgiveness? It confused him at first, but he then recalled what he had been told before. ‘Sorry’ was really just an empty word at this point. She wanted assurance, not an apology. So no apologies, excuses, or begging… He could do that. Hopefully.
Dalamus raked a hand through his hair, unsure how to start. With a light sigh, the vampire watched E’hla as he spoke. He kept his voice level and mostly calm, though sad. Much unlike the desperation when she had kicked him out. Not that he was not desperate—he certainly was—but he knew it would not help. A child spoke in outbursts. He needed to prove to E’hla that he was capable of being the grown mer she needed him to be. “I do believe I understand, E’hla… Regardless of my intentions, the nature of my actions were sexual, and it was entirely inappropriate for me, as a married mer, to do such a thing. You were right; I was being.. childish. I was not thinking about the consequences of my actions, and I deeply regret them now.”
He swallowed, his expression falling a little. “I wish to be a good husband, and a good father… My actions from here on will reflect that much moreso than they have been. Every time I hurt you, I hurt myself, E’hla. You are the most important person in my life, the only womer I love, and the only one I want to be with.” Feeling his desperation beginning to quicken his voice, Dalamus paused and took a slow breath to steady himself before continuing. “I do not want to see you hurt like this, ever again. So I swear to you that it will not happen. No flirting, no kissing, no giving others the attention that I should be giving you. I do not want to lose you, E’hla… The time I spent away from you was probably the most painful thing I have experienced in a very long time. Even when I went to friends for advice, I felt.. alone. I do not want to be alone.. I want to be with you…”
She listened to him talk, standing motionless in the middle of the room. Hearing him admit that he had been childish seemed like a small victory, but it was a short-lived one. Her eyes were locked on him, and she nodded when she felt it appropriate, but said nothing when he spoke.
When he neared the end of his explanation, or apology, she wasn’t quite sure what to call it, she looked away from his eyes for the first time since he had begun talking. “I felt alone too, Dalamus,” she mumbled, as if she didn’t want to admit it. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t hide the truth; the house felt empty and she felt alone without him.
She looked down still, and her eyes caught a glimpse of the groove on her ring finger where her wedding ring had been. A faint smile found its way to the corners of her lips, though she didn’t quite know why; this wasn’t exactly a happy moment. The womer cleared her throat and let the pad on her thumb run along the groove from the ring for a brief moment before she moved both hands to the back of her neck. E’hla unclasped the necklace the ring was currently hanging on and held it in her hand, looking down at it. “I took it off because I didn’t want to be reminded if what you had done every time I looked down at my own hands,” she began and looked back up at him. “But I didn’t want to take it off for good or put it away.” She paused. “I believe you, Dal… I can’t say for certain if you have redeemed your trust yet, but I believe you,” she said calmly and looked down at the ring again.
She took it in her hand, holding it pinned between her index finger and thumb before she slid the ring back on. With a deep breath and a light sigh she straightened up again and took a few steps towards her husband, closing the gap between them. “I have missed you, you know,” she paused and peered up at him. She cleared her throat before she continued talking: “You can stay here tonight, but you will have to sleep in the guestroom.”
With some hesitation she leaned forward until her head hit his chest and she wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. She didn’t know if he would be alright with that or not, but right now she just wanted to feel him close to her again.
The next time E’hla opened the door, she would find a basket on the doorstep. A long-sleeved lavender gown lay inside, poorly folded, but there was an attempt. Made of a thick but soft material, Dalamus hoped it would serve its purpose well in cold Windhelm. He had actually bought the gown and the basket with some gems and gold that he had had with him, instead of just stealing it.
Atop the gown was a note, held still from the breeze by a small amethyst—which was stolen—laying on top:
I hope that this gown keeps you warm. And I.. “found” that amethyst and thought of you, of course. I hope you are doing well.
The womer looked around, but there was no sign of whoever had left the basket on her doorstep. She picked it up, lifting the amethyst up off the letter to read it, the basket resting on her other arm. She mouthed the words written on the paper as she read them.
She took the basket and letter with her inside, and closed the door behind her before she made her way upstairs.
The vampire nodded, though his smile was beginning to fade as her frown deepened. He was just glad to be able to hear the two heartbeats in her, both healthy, both well.
Stepping aside to give her space as she passed by, Dalamus followed behind slowly. What he would give to just wrap his arms around her, but he was absolutely certain that would not end well for him. So he stayed a safe distance as he followed her downstairs and stopped at the bottom. He might have even offered to help with the fire, if not for the fact that being between E’hla and a pit of hot embers was not appealing in the slightest right now…
When she turned to face him again, he stood up straight, swallowing a bit at the emptiness of her tone. “Well… I.. have been thinking. About what I have done. And I believe I have a proper apology if you are willing to hear it. But if you wish me to leave, E’hla, then I will go… I only came to make sure you were alright, and you are. That in itself makes me happy, and if you need more time to think, I will not protest.”
She listened to him talk and let out a sigh while rolling her eyes. “I do not want your apologies, Dalamus. I want to know you understand how hurt I am,” she said, rather calmly compared to her tone earlier.
“I want to know for certain you won’t do anything like that again. Next time you could be a father. What would you do then?” she asked, furrowing her brows a little, but not out of anger. ”I don’t want to feel like this anymore,” she mumbled and looked away from him, crossing her arms tightly.
By now, Dalamus’ fear that his nightmare may have been prophetic was completely dissolved from his mind. Even the displeased expression on her face could not change how relieved he felt at knowing that he had not failed to protect her from someone else. His smile was restrained after a moment, though he was glad that she was willing to hear him out.
“I had a.. rather vivid nightmare, last night.” He figured that her patience was thin at best, and would try to keep his explanation as short as he could. “In it, you had been turned by a vampire other than myself, and as a consequence you had lost the baby. It.. frightened me a great deal and I needed to make sure that you and the baby were alright.”
His smile returned a little. Despite her anger at him, she was alive. The baby was still alive, and it was such a great comfort to him. As long as they were healthy, Dalamus would take any punishment she deemed necessary. Perhaps while he was here, he could apologize for the rest of his transgressions. He would wait for her response, though. He was afraid that if he rushed, she would shove him away.
So he had broken into the house because of a nightmare. The womer changed her weight and looked him over. She crossed her arms and let out a sigh, “As you can see I am in good health,” she muttered, the corners of her lips turning into a tired frown, she was unsure of what more to say.
The cold winds from outside clawed at the frail house, and some of the cold air seeped in through the wooden boards, giving her goosebumps. She made her way past him and down the stairs. The fire in the hearth was about to go out, and that would mean a rather unpleasant, cold night, even under the bed covers. E’hla crouched down when she got to the hearth before she tossed in some wood to get the fire going again. She straightened up and turned around to look at him again. “And what did you plan on doing now, hmm?” she asked, her voice empty of emotion; whether or not it was because she was tired or the fact that he was there was hard to tell.
So far, nothing seemed amiss. Though it did feel odd to be inside the house again. For the first time, he felt like an intruder in his own home. Technically he was, considering it was E’hla’s house and she did not want him here, but.. it was still an uncomfortable feeling.
He was trying to keep quiet. If he could just confirm that E’hla and the baby were both alright, then he could leave. She would never even have to know. He could lock the door behind him—as much as it would pain him to do so—and let her have the time she needed.
Unfortunately, a creak of the floorboards betrayed him, and he heard movement almost immediately after. “E’hla?” he called quietly, more because the silence was beginning to disturb him than actually wanting a response. He peered into the bedroom to see her still in bed, with a dagger in her hand. Standing in full view in the bedroom doorway now, the vampire held his hands before him to show he wished no trouble, and when he saw her still with the baby bump he could not hide his smile or sigh of relief.
“E’hla.. you have no idea how glad I am to see that you and the baby are alright. I can explain my presence, if you will allow me.”
She straightened up on the bed when he heard his voice, a voice she knew very well. What was he doing inside the house, she thought before he continued talking. The assassin put away the dagger, letting it rest on the nightstand beside the bed.
E’hla hadn’t expected to see him so soon, and certainly not in her own bedroom. She couldn’t say she was too happy to see him, but she was willing to give him a chance.
“Very well, then. Explain,” she uttered and moved her legs out over the edge of the bed before she got up. The wood floor was cold under her feet and caused her toes to curl. She wrapped her arms around herself, awaiting his explanation with a slightly raised eyebrow.
After Dalamus’ nightmare, there was no way he could just go about his business without at least checking on E’hla. In his mind, it was too real of a scenario to leave alone. If something happened to her or the baby while he was separated from her, gods, he would feel awful. Separation is no excuse to stop taking care of her or checking up on her. He was still her husband and he was still going to be a father. Even though he had been watching to make sure she was alright, there was always a chance that he had looked away a moment too long.
Shaking his head, the vampire attempted to clear those thoughts away as he approached the house. Worrying right now would only make him sloppy. Reaching the door, Dalamus got a horrid sense of deja vu as his nightmare tried to replay in his mind. He knocked lightly, even though E’hla was probably asleep. And when there was no answer, he tried the door. He could not describe the flood of relief he felt when the door was locked. At least that was one thing differing from his nightmare. But he still wanted to make sure that everything was absolutely alright.
It did not take long for him to get the door open, and without breaking the lock. Years of lockpicking did not simply go to waste. He stepped inside and peered around; it felt like an eternity since he had been inside, though he was quite sure it had not been that long. No smell of blood. So far, no vampire E’hla. He closed the door quietly and locked it again before heading upstairs, where she should be sleeping soundly. With two heartbeats. If she was alright, then he would leave again. He just.. needed to make sure.
E’hla had gone to bed and fallen asleep without difficulty that night. The large baby bump prevented her from sleeping like she normally did, forcing her to lie on her side. The hearth downstairs was about to go out, but the house still managed to keep some of the warmth.
The Dunmer turned in her bed, moving slowly so the baby bump would follow her around. She hadn’t quite gotten used to sleeping a lone yet, so the bed felt empty without Dalamus.
Her eyes shot up when she heard a creak just outside the bedroom door. She sat up, fishing a dagger from under her pillow but she remained in bed, staring with furrowed brows at the door.
Dalamus’ brows furrowed as well, but it was not from anger. His heart squeezed painfully as she seemed to misinterpret his meaning, and then it felt as if a hot dagger had been shoved through it as she took the ring off of her finger. What did that mean? What was she doing? “E’hla, please, put it back on. Please. I only meant that it was my single most prized possession and I chose to gave it to you. And I would do it over again. Because I love you, E’hla.” His tone was getting more desperate, his eyes shimmering from the tears he refused to shed. “If you believe nothing else, believe that. Gods, I love you, E’hla, and you are frightening me.”
When she smiled, he froze, and the words that she spoke shocked him. And angered him and saddened him. Despite her clearly being very angry, Dalamus took a hold of her face and aimed a half-glare at her. “Do not compare me to that filth. You know what he would do to you? He would beat you until you cannot fight back and then he would rape you, E’hla. Just like he did to my mother. And I will kill him myself before I let him anywhere near you. Because I love you, E’hla…” His features softened again to the tormented expression it was before. “You do not deserve to be hurt, and I am sorry that I have hurt you so many times. I am not doing it on purpose, E’hla, but you act as though I am… It will not happen again, I promise. And I know you do not believe me, and I know you are hurt and angry and confused, but that is all I can offer… E’hla, please put the ring back on..”
“At least that would be consistent,” she retorted and took a step back when he grabbed her face, “If you touch me again, I’ll cut your hands off,” she snarled and removed his hands from herself.
“You’re right, I do not believe you and I do not trust you anymore,” her harsh glare returned and she scowled at him. “If you didn’t do it on purpose, you wouldn’t have done it three times, Dalamus. It is not anyone else’s fault that you, a grown mer, haven’t learned what is right or wrong, and it’s selfish to blame anyone but yourself for this,” she said rather calmly compared to her previous tone. However, her actions to come would not be as calm and composed as her voice.
The womer pinched her ring between her index finger and thumb, holding it up between them. “I don’t think I can put this back on,” she sighed and shook her head. “Not yet,” she added before she furrowed her brows again. She wasn’t going to just throw the ring away, but she didn’t want to be reminded of his errors every time she looked at her own hand. Instead, she fished out the necklace she had around her neck, opened it and threaded the silver and amethyst ring onto the chain.
E’hla moved away from him, walking towards the stairs and when she was at the bottom she turned back towards him. “I want to sleep alone tonight. Go see if they have a spare room at the inn, or sleep in the gutter for all I care,” she muttered before ascending the stairs to the bedroom they usually shared.
It seemed his answer was not enough. He had little hope that it would be, but it was worth a shot. He had nothing left, though. There was nothing he could say that she would listen to, he was sure of it. Stab? Harm; she wanted to harm him. He loved her, and she wanted to harm him. Had he honestly messed up that badly? A small, pained smile appeared on his face as he swallowed, but it was gone in an instant. “There is no need to stab me, love… Your words cut deep enough, I assure you. They will leave scars that last much longer than any weapon..”
He did not dare interrupt her as she shouted at him. Experience told him that that would certainly be a bad idea. He did not realize he was being childish. That was.. just how he was. And when she questioned whether he meant his marriage vows… Perhaps it would just be quicker to let her stab him. There was little else she could say that would make him feel more wretched than he did now, and so with what little dignity he had left, the mer moved to stand before her and peer down at her.
His expression was empty, and sad. Devastated, but he refused to show it. “Do you think I would have asked you to marry me, and given you Falin’s ring if I did not love you, E’hla?” he asked, his voice just a quiet whisper. “I.. I never learned what was considered ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ in a relationship. My father was not exactly the best role-model… If I had known it was wrong, I would not have done it. Honest. Do you think I would walk in so proud of myself if I had known it would hurt you? I do not want to hurt you, E’hla.” Which was apparently more than she could say about him. “Please.. tell me what I must do to make it up to you.”
“I don’t know what to believe, Dalamus! I honestly do not know anymore,” she tilted her head backwards so she could look up into his eyes, and she was barely blinking. E’hla furrowed her brows, and the rest of her face fell into a scowl, and let her gaze fall to her hand and without hesitation she pulled the ring off her finger. “Since you so kindly pointed out that this is her ring, why don’t you go on and give it to her then?” she muttered dryly, her eyes cold and void of emotion. “I never asked for her ring, Dal, that was a choice you made alone so don’t come here and use it against me.”
The womer changed her weight , still hodling the ring in her hand rather than putting it back on her finger. “Do not drag your father into this. What he did to you is not my fault, and I should not be punished like this over and over again,” she paused, a faint smile finding its way to her lips. “I even think he would have been an improvement to you,” she hissed and took a step closer, glaring up at him . “At least I would know what to expect from him, instead of this emotional whiplash you put me through.”
One arm wrapped around Dalamus’ chest to hold the other as his shoulders slumped a little more. He was confused. He was so confused and all he wanted was to see E’hla smile at him again. “It was only a game to me, E’hla. I was.. bored, I suppose, and I wanted to see how long it would take. It was amusing. But I did nothing after that. It was just a game…” That was what he did. He flirted and flustered people. Teased and antagonized them. Had he known E’hla would have gotten upset, he certainly would not have done it. But, unfortunately, he had a habit of acting before thinking.
When she brought up the baby, it was a heavy blow that his eyes clearly showed. Was that the impression that he was giving? That it meant nothing to him? It meant everything to him. The fact that she even wanted his child was a miracle in itself. “E’hla…”
Honestly, he was waiting for her to slap him. To hit him and show him just how little she thought of him now. And when she moved away, he was too frightened to follow. This was the third time he had upset her so majorly. He kept doing things wrong. And each time he promised he would not do it again. At her admittance that she even doubted his love of her.. it hurt. It hurt a lot more than anything he had felt in a long while, and he could no longer look at her, instead shifting his gaze to the floor. One reason? What one reason could possibly be good enough to redeem him this time? ‘Because I love you’ did not seem like it would go over well right now. And ‘I promise it will not happen again’ was useless as well. “Because, I.. I am trying…” He was trying really hard to be a good husband. He really was. He wanted to add ‘because I am worth it,’ but he was afraid of the answer. Even he did not believe it anymore.
How dared he? Her anger flared again and she glared over at him. “Oh, so you’re trying?” she spat and got up from the chair, crossing her arms. “Well, that’s just fantastic, dear, because right now I’m trying not to stab you!” The womer yelled, leaning slightly forward as every word left her mouth with equal pressure.
“I am so sick and tired of this. You’re always acting like a child, and I didn’t sign up for that! I married you to be your wife, not your mother, and sometimes I can’t even tell the difference anymore!” She paused just to let her words sink in and to suck in another breath. “I meant those words I said at the temple in Riften, did you?” she scowled.
Her arms remained crossed over her chest all this time before she finally let them fall down along her sides, one hand supporting the bump under her clothes. “If you really did, you wouldn’t be stupid enough to do ‘play games’:”